Change

I've never once stated I was perfect. In fact, I was usually the first to state my flaws. The first to say that my life isn't perfect. The first to say that I wasn't perfect.

I thought I was sharing my personal thoughts and opinions with a group of people that would I guess "be there" for me. I understand that that's not what they were "there" for, but after knowing people for so long and sharing so much I began to feel safe and started to share my personal feelings and struggles with these people.

I now see I was a complete and total fucking idiot for doing so.

These people weren't my friends. Friends are there when you're going through a tough time. I know what's best for me. I just needed help staying strong. I'm not just going to run out because things are getting tough. I stayed. I stayed when everyone told me to leave. And you know what? Things are actually looking like they might be ok for once.

I've always been there for everyone and everything they're going through. I very, VERY rarely judge a person or talk rudely about them. And if I do, I usually have no problem saying it straight to your face. If I think you're fake, I'll probably call you out on it or ignore you completely. I'm not going to act like your friend and give you a false sense of security when you need someone most.

I just can't believe I was so clueless to how these people truly felt about me when I thought they were my "friends". I know it wasn't everybody, but the ones that did say something, it hurts.

If anything came from this, I've learned that you can't really trust people. Never get to comfortable with people. You don't know what they're saying behind your back, no matter how sweet they seem to your face.

I also understand that this post probably comes off as "pathetic" and "attention-seeking", but you know what? I don't care. This is what is on my mind right now. Go ahead and send your friends the link, as you all laugh and make fun of me because I'm apparently a sorry excuse for a human being.

Have a wonderfully perfect day.